Thursday, October 4, 2012
A little trim and a little lie
Tuesday I came home to scissors on the kitchen table and a lock of hair on the kitchen floor. I didn't notice it right away. Liam was overtired and having a fit over something when I got home, he wanted extra TV (I am so temped to just get rid of TV entirely) and he wanted a snack "Not dinner!" and who all knows what else.
When I finally got the dreaded dinner on the table and things calmed down a little, I noticed. I looked at Liam. He still looked like he had a lot of hair. I looked at the lock of hair on the floor more closely and hoped it hadn't come from the neighbor boy who had been over for a play date. It didn't look blond enough. I decided to say something, and Liam and I had the following conversation.
Me: Liam, I see some hair on the kitchen floor, do you want a shorter hair cut?
Liam: It's not hair; I mean, I didn't; I mean. Oh mommy, I just wanted to see what it was like.
Me: I'm so glad you told me the truth! So you cut your hair. What was it like?
Liam: Oh, you know, no big deal.
Me: Yeah, pretty boring. You know, Lynette is the one who cuts our hair, if you want a hair cut, we go to Lynette. Got it? No more cutting it on your own, you could hurt your ears or the skin on your head and it makes a mess. Plus, you'll never have a pony tail if you cut your hair.
To me this is very interesting. You read about little kids and lying (Well, I mean, if you're me and you obsessively read studies on little kid behavior.) and how experimenting with lying is normal, the way questions are asked is really important, and it's important most of all for them to understand that lying doesn't work to get what they want or avoid consequences. I thought I did pretty well with my initial question; but, still the reflex was to deny, and it took a few seconds for the truth to kick in.