tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82961185084251802252024-02-02T16:06:33.652-08:00Liam's WorldLiam's world. . .Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10513644976118476167noreply@blogger.comBlogger501125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-33086331941905511422013-08-19T23:05:00.000-07:002013-08-19T23:05:10.665-07:00The IslandFriday and Saturday we went in the boat with my parents to "The Island" as Liam likes to call it. This is not any of the usual suspects when people around here talk about islands; instead it's a little state park, in the south part of Puget Sound, <a href="http://www.parks.wa.gov/parks/?selectedpark=McMicken%20Island" target="_blank">McMicken Island</a>.<br />
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As luck would have it, I forgot my camera, so the photos here are all culled from other places on the Internets. (<a href="http://funplaceswashington.com/" target="_blank">Here, actually</a>, thank you.) It's hard to go forward without photos because the place really is magical.<br />
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It's a tiny, small island, connected to a much larger island at low tide by a sandbar. Liam and I walked across it. Then walked back. On the sand bar side are amazing eel grass beds and every kind of intertidal creature you can imagine. On the other side is an eagle nest and a giant erratic left by the last glacier. Big enough to be marked on charts.<br />
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I hadn't thought much about magic for many years, but when you have a
small child around you develop a new relationship with the idea. That moment
when the water under the row boat is 5 or 6 feed deep and clear so you
can see to the bottom, and that secret undersea world starts to peek out at you.
Magic. Noise of kingfishers, scolding and diving, also magic. Seals.
Tides. Sandbars. Islands in the first place. All magic. And why not.<br />
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At low tide we saw <a href="http://www.pugetsoundsealife.com/puget_sound_sea_life/Moon_Snail.html" target="_blank">moon snails</a> (and brought home an empty shell), reefs of mussels, <a href="http://www.pugetsoundsealife.com/puget_sound_sea_life/Excentric_Sand_Dollar.html" target="_blank">a sand dollar garden</a>, every manner of sea star, sea anemones, hermit crabs. Liam carefully collected some of each, brought them back to the boat to live for an hour or so in pots and pans with a little sea water, until they were even more carefully returned to their homes.<br />
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Tonight we walked out down the ally to bring in the yard bin. One of the neighbors was out and we got to talking about the island. Liam loves to tell people about it. She told how night before last they saw a great horned owl in one of the trees across the road. Passing through. We talked about owl boxes for a few minutes. They promised to call -- day or night -- if it came back.<br />
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Right after Will died we had an owl take up temporary residence in our yard. It would sit in the rhododendron tree, or in the mash up of fir and hemlock across the ally. We heard it every night. I still think of it. I remember laying there listening to it over the rain, trying to figure out what type of owl it might be. I thought it was a Saw-Whet owl, I told them. No, they told me, male screech owl. Calling. It was here for eight weeks.<br />
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The south part of Puget Sound is made up of finger inlets. Six or seven main ones, depending on how you count. Henderson, Budd, Eld, Totten, Hammersly, Case, and Carr. I guess I count seven. Before we got here, separate bands of native peoples
lived along the shores of each inlet. The clam legend teaches that in the long ago time the Raven put people
into clamshells and dropped them all around Puget Sound. According to the story, this started
the various small bands of Native Peoples up and down Puget Sound. Magic. Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-76982462236143258292013-08-14T16:53:00.001-07:002013-08-14T16:53:42.679-07:00Catching upI've been pretty absent from this space over the summer, but seeings as how I am trapped in the Boise, ID airport for the foreseeable future due to broken planes and delayed flights I thought I might catch up a little.<br />
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We raised tadpoles this year, and they pretty much all made it to frogs, which was much better than two years ago when we tried and got almost no frogs. We were on a good path to release the frogs into their home pond until there was a terrible accident with the tadpole/frog container resulting in water, rocks, wet leaves, broken glass, tadpoles and frogs all over the kitchen floor. We did the best we could with all that and then decided we'd done enough for the frog population for the year. It was fun while it lasted.<br />
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We celebrated Liam's 6th birthday. Six! He received, among other things, a national geographic documentary about cougars and a stuffed tiger with leash, collar, and feeding dishes, and he and my mother <a href="http://liam411.blogspot.com/2012/08/in-which-liam-and-my-mother-make-same.html" target="_blank">continued the tradition </a>of making the same face in all the pictures. Liam was (and remains) <i>very interested</i> in big cats.<br />
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We picked the first strawberry on June 8 and ate strawberries almost continuously for the rest of June.<br />
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We went for a hike from trees and hot sun to snow, something Liam had never done before and almost couldn't believe was possible it was so fun. GoGo was our guide and he and Liam made a snow duck to celebrate. Liam learned to use a compass.<br />
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We went camping with Auntie Chris at the ocean where Liam swam in the waves and flew kites on the beach and we were all almost consumed whole by mosquitoes. Blech.<br />
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And, finally, but maybe the most exciting: Liam learned to ride a bike. He now takes great delight at biking on the protected bike paths and explaining to all who will listen that soon he will be biking to the grocery store for me and biking all around the neighborhood at all hours of day and night with the neighboring Liam. Here's hoping!<br />
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Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-4920191282788949152013-08-12T20:20:00.000-07:002013-08-12T20:20:00.182-07:00It's not about the apricots<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A few weeks ago I returned from a work trip east of the mountains with two boxes of apricots. We dried a bunch. Made <a href="http://www.simplebites.net/honey-sweetened-apricot-thyme-jam/" target="_blank">this jam</a> with a few. And we put a few in jars. I asked Liam if he wanted to be in charge of packing the jars this year and he said "by myself?" and I said, "well, sure, I'll be here if you want help; I'll make the sugar syrup." So he got out his little knife, washed his hands really well, and started to pit the apricots and drop them in. A little instruction along the lines of make sure you get the bottom of the jar really full, we want to pack them in tight, and he was off. He packed four jars. He didn't cut himself, he didn't lose interest.<br />
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The thing is, the thing that is so easy to forget is, it's not so much about exactly how safely he can use the knife or whether he will actually finish packing the jars. He has practice enough to be safe enough with the knife* and apricots are pretty low risk. Besides, I'm right there, I'm watching. It's about him understanding that I believe in him; have confidence in his skills and ability to contribute something of value in the house. <br />
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He had a great day today; a four-hour play date with no fits or yelling, all disagreements worked out amicably; lunch in the chicken fort. So many of the things I see as behavior challenges on my good days and character flaws on my bad are undoubtedly something else entirely. Tiredness. Hunger. Too many instructions. Too little undivided attention. My own moods. He needs to understand beyond all doubt that I know for sure he is not
just the fits and the whining and the spilled and broken stuff. He's
also the kid who will jump up and pack four jars of apricots. <br />
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*That band-aid is from some other insult, not this adventure. See his bent fingers in the first picture? I taught him that. He knows how to keep his fingers out of the way of the knife. Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-70480221567811787852013-08-09T21:42:00.000-07:002013-08-10T10:32:37.322-07:00When you are away<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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Back a million years ago, or maybe only 15 or so, Auntie Chris was deployed on ships. Sometimes large; more often small. She was one of three females on a fast frigate deployed in, what, 1998 or 1999 I guess. On an aircraft carrier, the one that was deployed forever and helped with the Indonesian tsunami relief effort. Some other ship after that. She'd give me a folder with all the information about her auto-pay bills, instructions for the DVD recorder she'd installed at my house to record the West Wing or whatever (Can you imagine! It used to be the only way!), where the keys to everything were, what to do if her helicopter crashed into the ocean, and then away she'd go for six months, nine months, until she came back.<br />
<br />
While she was gone I'd send her things. Once a week. Not every-single-no-matter-what-once-a-week but, pretty much 80-90%, once a week. Sometimes it would be cookies. Sometimes candy. Often I'd try to send something silly. Once I sent one of those robotic plush pet dogs that you could "train" to bark and jump. She told me this lived in the helicopter group office, or whatever that space is called where they kept their stuff and talked about what needed fixing and all the rest. Once I sent a whole bunch of soap and asked her to please have the ship spell out my name in bubbles in the ocean and take a picture from the air. Twice, at least, I sent kites. I can remember in a visceral way shopping for this goofy stuff, packing these little boxes, filling out the carbon-forms you get at the post office to send something to an APO box.<br />
<br />
Chris said sometimes the mail would be squirrely and a bunch of boxes would arrive all at once. Three, five, six weeks of stuff. She said it was like some strange holiday.<br />
<br />
More often than anything, I sent these brownies. They mix up by hand in one bowl, no fuss no bother. They cook up right and pack like a dream. <br />
<br />
Auntie Chris texted me today. (So sorry DVD player, your days are gone.) She said she was thinking of someone deployed and could I please send the brownie recipe. Sure thing.<br />
<br />
<u><i>Chocolate Chip Brownies for Mailing to People Who Are Far Away</i></u><br />
3/4 c butter<br />
4 oz unsweetened chocolate<br />
4 large eggs<br />
1 3/4 c sugar<br />
1 1/2 tsp vanilla (sometimes I just add 2 tsp)<br />
3/4 c flour<br />
1/2 tsp salt, or a little more<br />
1 c chocolate chips (or finely chopped chocolate is good too, also M&Ms)<br />
<br />
Melt together the butter and chocolate and set aside to cool.<br />
Bet the eggs and sugar together with a whisk until they are pale yellow, thick, and light. This takes 3-5 minutes depending on your energy level. This is the leavening, don't phone it in.<br />
Add the chocolate and butter mixture and fold in. Be careful it's cool enough so you don't cook the eggs. Add the vanilla.<br />
Fold in the flour and the salt. Add the chocolate chips or whatever (or you can just sprinkle them on top when it's in the pan).<br />
Bake in a 350 degree F oven in a 9 x 13 x 2 inch (or slightly smaller) buttered pan for about 25 minutes. Don't over bake.<br />
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PS -- I looked all over for a photo of Auntie Chris and one of her helicopters. I think I must have some somewhere, but they seem to have vanished into my fancy picture organizing and storing technology, in which I can locate no photo taken before 2006. Sigh.<br />
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PS again -- updated to add pictures, from a ship's tour in Australia. Thanks Chris.<br />
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<img alt="Inline image 4" class="GH" height="298" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=a88eb0aa66&view=att&th=1406908a01d9cdc6&attid=0.1&disp=emb&realattid=ii_14068ff572f9ac53&zw&atsh=1" width="400" /><br />
<img alt="Inline image 3" class="GH" height="298" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=a88eb0aa66&view=att&th=1406908a01d9cdc6&attid=0.3&disp=emb&realattid=ii_14068ff043679dc9&zw&atsh=1" width="400" /><br />
Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-54801098820968261782013-05-09T16:00:00.000-07:002013-05-09T16:00:00.842-07:00CF Awareness Month and Creating a Real-World Social Network May is CF awareness month. <br />
<br />
You can help. Giving money to support drug research for a cure is great. I do that. In my mind, though, bringing dinner by some night when someone really could use it is. . .better. Coming over to play cards or watch a movie or just hang out with someone who would otherwise be alone, also, better.<br />
<br />
My 90-odd year old across the street neighbor, Mr. Z, who generally still mows his own lawn God-bless him, drives out twice a week to deliver meals-on-wheels to seniors. He tells me, otherwise they might not see anyone. He wants to help.<br />
<br />
He and I talked about this one day last fall when Liam and I went over to rake leaves for him. Mr. Z protested that he could rake his own leaves, thank you very much. (This is true but it's really, really slow these days.) He protested and protested. Finally I took him aside. John, I said, I'm trying to do something here, I'm trying to teach this kid about neighbors and taking care of people -- he's only going to learn that by doing it and seeing it done. Will you help me? He stopped protesting. Can I give him a dollar he asked? Sure, I said, he'd love that. We raked leaves. In the winter we shoveled snow. Sometimes John gives Liam a dollar. More often not. Sometimes, not as often as I'd like, we bring soup over. <br />
<br />
You could help someone with CF, or you might help someone else. Just get out there, be present in your world.<br />
<br />
Check this out if you need some CF-related motivation:<br />
<a href="http://emilysentourage.org/" target="_blank">Emily's entourage </a><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He2Jw9GYAN8" target="_blank">Emily's entourage, TEDx talk</a>, about using social media to create a community of support<br />
<a href="http://www.cff.org/aboutCFFoundation/NewsEvents/2-27-Vertex-Begins-Phase-3-Kalydeco-VX-809-Study.cfm" target="_blank">New medications are making are difference</a>, these make me feel so hopeful.<br />
<br />
Okay - thus ends the sermon. <br />
<br />Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-86136591027928956342013-04-13T08:28:00.002-07:002013-04-13T08:28:20.583-07:00Roller skating (in the house)<br />
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One nice thing about having really old, really crappy, painted wood floors is that on rainy Fridays afternoons before the pizza is ready you can roller skate in the house. It turns out both small and large boys like to roller skate in the house, although small ones like it more.<br />
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Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-58344318055236280912013-04-06T20:06:00.000-07:002013-04-06T20:06:04.564-07:00Animals in our house<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Doesn't everyone keep baby chicks in the kitchen this time of year? Ours came to us a week old from a farmer out towards McCleary. ("If one dies or turns out to be a rooster, just bring 'em back; I'll give you another.") They came home from the farm in a shoe box and took up residence on the kitchen table, the regular kitchen light bulb replaced with a heat-lamp for now and my heated seed-starting mat under their container for added warmth.<br />
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They peep continuously and make many other chirp-ping noises. They've been named Fluffy and Sunflower and have doubled in size since arrival. They're soft as all get out and sleep like the dead, which can be a little alarming, but when awake they flap their perfect little wings and can hop-fly strongly enough to get over the top of their container if we don't pay attention. They yellow one has perfect chipmunk strips down her back and speckled wings. The black one has a snow white tummy and bottom and likes to peck.<br />
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Today we moved them and their heat lamp to a big, tall wooden box in the garage with air holes in the side and a wire top. They'll stay there for another 4-6 weeks until they're big enough to live outside where, what, by the end of summer hopefully, they'll be integrated with our current flock of three and up in the hen house laying green and blue eggs. Unless one's a rooster. Fingers crossed.<br />
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Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-23567423774245211362013-02-09T21:16:00.002-08:002013-02-09T21:16:33.419-08:00Tapping Trees<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Bright and sunny and off to the woods today; back into the tall trees dragging an unlikely assortment of tin, drills, plastic, curiosity, and hope. Maple tapping.<br />
<br />
There is sometime at once both grounded and romantic about
tree tapping in my mind. It calls up for me the notion of more seasonal
work-filled days where when you need something you go outside to get
it. My sense of tree tapping lives somewhere among the feelings I get from
canning tomatoes, bringing soup to neighbors, what I remember of
Little Women or Ann of Green Gables or one of those, and everyone I've ever met from the
midwest. Some set of partially formed ideas about people taking care
of themselves, sticking to their knitting and just going about their business trying to do the
right thing, and not making a big deal of it for pity's sake.<br />
<br />
Of course, the idea that we might can make our own maple syrup from something that we get out of a tree is also, well, just on the face of it, totally magic. <br />
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So, anyway. In winter, if you're looking, the maples are easy to spot through the woods. They are big, wide, sort of lumpy, heavy limbed, moss and fern covered trees. The moss and ferns are bright, bright green in the sun. The trees stretch their branches up, up; ending in a sort of multi-trunked and substantial thicket in the top. I should have got a picture of that. Not all smooth stem and then twigs and sticks like the smaller alders and seed cherries. They aren't so tall as the firs, but they are way more sprawling. Liam was picking them out from the other trees on his own before any time at all. Our maple is the <a href="http://www.for.gov.bc.ca/hfd/library/documents/treebook/bigleafmaple.htm" target="_blank">Big Leaf Maple</a>, <i><span class="italic" id="content_ctl00_PlantDisplayText_SciNameLabel"><a href="http://www.ecy.wa.gov/programs/sea/pugetsound/species/maple.html" target="_blank">Acer macrophyllum</a>. </span></i><br />
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We've never tapped trees before. I thought it was impossible out here in the NW until last year I read something about it, and then the vegan tapped a test tree and got some sap. Which he drank down and proclaimed just a little sweet. So I went my normal kind of crazy and ordered up a tree tapping set up consisting of taps, food-grade sap collection bags, and tin bag holders. A book of instructions. This year I am determined we are going to collect enough sap to boil down to syrup. Just wait and see. We're going to go about it like it's no big deal, and we'll just get it done because we like maple syrup around here and why shouldn't we make our own? It's out there for the making, apparently. (Or, more precisely, let's hope.)<br />
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Of course, tree tapping <i>is</i> a really big deal if you're five, especially since the trees are at the vegan's house. And the outing included typical vegan's house activities like an impromptu dance party on the shed roof. And then a hunt all through the shed for just the right drill bits and set up. And an up close encounter with polliwog eggs in the pond -- still so small and slimy. And an inspection of the trailer full of scrap car parts (Don't ask.) along with a lesson on how the clutch works. (A note, in the pictures Liam is wearing my coat and one of the vegan's hats; because, amazingly, I managed to leave the house without a coat or hat for him.)<br />
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After all that, the tree tapping was sort of an also-ran, so when the sap (which vegan and Liam have taken to calling "maple juice") didn't come rushing out, it was a little bit of a disappointment. Vegan said, you know, it's like the chickens and the eggs and the garden and most everything else, it just takes a little time. There was much peering into holds and trying to detect any hint of sap. Checking and re-checking of the collector closest to the house.<br />
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<br />
And then it was time to go. The vegan had the tractor to pull into the shed and do something to. We had grocery shopping, dinner making, and pea brush to rig up in the garden at home. We'll get a report about the sap conditions tomorrow, hopefully.<br />
<br />
I'm going to pretend it hasn't been over a month away from this space trying to get my camera working and find enough wits to organize a thought. Let's just quietly pick up where we left off, shall we.<br />
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I leave you with a tree tapping series, which is way too many pictures, but, just because I happened to catch them all in a row.<br />
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Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-45797321476981912392012-12-25T22:07:00.001-08:002012-12-25T22:07:22.461-08:00Happy Merry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
We've had a lovely day here, with a little snow in the morning and a little sunshine in the afternoon and a lot of fun in between. Wishing all visitors to this space a joyful holiday. Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-52082650605042153042012-12-22T10:08:00.003-08:002012-12-22T10:09:24.157-08:00A solstice party<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been casting around for years now trying to land on a tradition for the solstice and I think we've found one. . .this year we had our own spiral in the yard. It combined the best of everything for me, candle light and homemade lanterns, outdoors at night, fire, neighbors, school families and kids running around, all of it.<br />
<br />
We set it up as an open house so people could come and go. We served soup and bread and a few other snacks and people brought sweets to share. The spiral was beautiful and fun. We had a nice fire on the back patio and people sat out and watched the spiral, and watched the fire, and ate soup, and stayed late, and the rain held off. So, now we have it: winter solstice garden spiral and fire. See you next year. <br />
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Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-43713453301142368782012-12-20T20:17:00.000-08:002012-12-20T22:26:05.354-08:00Spiral<br />
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I am grateful for many, many things about Liam's little Waldorf-inspired
school community, but I think most of all I am grateful for how it ties me
every day to the wonder and magic of childhood. I tend towards
seriousness, and lists, and tasks, and thinking about the next thing. I
need these reminders to be joyful in and present to what is all around.
<br />
<br />
Today was the winter spiral at school. The spiral takes its
impulse from labyrinth traditions and representations of growing along a
thoughtful or spiritual path or journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The spiraling represents going inward — during the darkest time of the
year — and kindling your own inner light. In Christian faiths spirals are
associated with Advent and anticipating the arrival of Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The apples remind us of the bounty of the
harvest; the candles represent our individual and collective lights along the
path. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Each child, one at a time with their teacher's help, takes an apple, walks
the spiral, lights their candle, places their light along the path, and goes to
sit down again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They sing this verse.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The first light of winter is the light of stone–.<br />
Stones that live in crystals, seashells, and bones.<br />
The second light of winter is the light of plants–<br />
Plants that reach up to the sun and in the breezes dance.<br />
The third light of winter is the light of beasts–<br />
All await the birth, from the greatest to the least.<br />
The fourth light of winter is the light of humankind–<br />
The light of hope that we may learn to love and understand.</blockquote>
A reminder of the beauty of all creation. At the light of the
"beasts" they make claw hands and sing the word extra short and
loud. They wiggle; they can't help it. They threaten to fall off
the benches because they're just not paying attention. They glow in the
candle light and reflexively hold hands with one another. <br />
<br />
These children, these little children are 4, 5, and 6. <br />
<br />
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We are all knocked over this week; confronted by so much evil, pain,
senselessness. I have nothing to say about that. No words. I
was driving home from a long meeting far north that day; listened with horror
to the hours of news coverage. Looked at the photos on the computer when
I got home, and since then I have pretty much stopped. It doesn't get any
more understandable in the re-telling; no amount of attention I pay to
the details lessens anyone's pain. I'm not saying forget -- as if anyone
could. I hope and pray that real gun reform comes from this. But no
matter what comes, it won't be worth it. It is not near strong enough to
say that the idea that we would measure the price of long-overdue policy reform in
the lives of small children and teachers is completely and totally bankrupt.<br />
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For those of you struggling, and particularly for those struggling to be with small children in the face of this, I recommend <a href="http://www.sparklestories.com/blog/2012/12/blog/being-with-your-children-in-the-face-of-the-sandy-hook-free-story/" target="_blank">this story</a>. The moral for me is that we cannot understand why; we aren't helped by trying to. We can and must be with the sadness and pain. We can and must offer our solidarity with those who are suffering. And we, we grownups for God's sake, can and must make the world safer. <br />
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Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-15875556621507678862012-12-08T20:55:00.000-08:002012-12-08T20:55:26.919-08:00Making your 5 year old really happy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZTjKtBu5Jeykrvv1osD2Teqt21gYOX3TZg3QNOtI7Z-K2szrQb0MnI1Jb9x-r4RF0NcNUt3uGcXeIlibTL7WWl1BHy3FJQ3MgM7LudwbxxDxh8LjaHglU-hM3zNPooQZLlpTqVztI3xYl/s1600/decorating..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8u3yHPILbbX7aorF1U28et0hVIP2wHwFWiRQ5fxqjSB7x66SiuXnqytxRnX_ghJ3vXOHaTmPJnNnsJ-D6TnGIc3yCH7vvomv_mksbLHjq7NFwrwmQcSgNYgoYcdOQRsi6wbq1weEanIEN/s1600/liam's+tree..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8u3yHPILbbX7aorF1U28et0hVIP2wHwFWiRQ5fxqjSB7x66SiuXnqytxRnX_ghJ3vXOHaTmPJnNnsJ-D6TnGIc3yCH7vvomv_mksbLHjq7NFwrwmQcSgNYgoYcdOQRsi6wbq1weEanIEN/s1600/liam's+tree..jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Turns out it's pretty easy: his own Christmas tree in his bedroom does the trick. I don't like to bring the big tree in until after the 20th. So big, so messy. I like the idea of a big tree, and it's always nice to look at, but the actual mechanics of it are tedious. Not, though, if you're five. If you're five it is very hard to understand why the Christmas tree can't go up immediately after Halloween. This is our compromise, a little Norfolk pine that (hopefully) will live for at least a few Christmases. The lights are on a foot switch so he can turn them on and off himself without dealing with the wall outlet. <br />
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We're fine, just fine. I have good intentions and lots of ideas to share here, but never seem to create the time. Liam is singing Christmas songs continuously, which is sweeter and less annoying than it sounds, at least to me. We're planning an open house for the solstice, I think. I have until Monday to chicken out, but I probably won't, I think we can make it work. <br />
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When we got the tree today we also got the garland and lights for the outside of the house, which creates a clear plan for tomorrow. I'll try to post pictures; this tall old house looks its nicest all dressed up for Christmas. <br />
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Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-67326594850995680062012-11-19T21:55:00.000-08:002012-11-19T21:55:24.267-08:00sometimesSometimes even when it has been a long, long day at work filled with big drives through pouring rain to hard meetings, sometimes your child will not fuss when you pick him up in the evening. He'll be ready to go and the transition will land lightly on him. He will endure the errands on the way home happily and participate in the birthday present buying without fuss. He will take with good grace the information that you are only buying things for other people tonight.<br />
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When the package on the front step is a book for you instead of a toy for him he will cheerfully say "look, a book for you" and hand it over. He will have self directed play, and then he will eat dinner without complaining and without running around. Sometimes you and he will make up a song about salmon, and then get out all his salmon books to look at them. Sometimes you will not mind drawing the outlines of salmon for him to color in. He will go to bed without chasing around the house and fall straight to sleep.<br />
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Maybe he will sleep all night. Maybe he won't. Maybe tomorrow will be the same; probably it won't. But, maybe. Sometimes you will see, just a little, that the things you are trying to teach him are sticking, at least a little. And you'll watch him make them better; his own.<br />
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It's a little bit of an upside down week for us. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, but, of course now it also is the anniversary of Will's death. So, you know. Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-34578030595030634622012-10-31T21:57:00.001-07:002012-10-31T21:57:39.729-07:00Happy halloween<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Five sure is a sweet age for holidays. Liam has been decorating the house and singing his Halloween songs for a week.<br />
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He carved the pumpkin all by himself, thankyouverymuch. And he was so, so proud. When I watch him work on things like this I see a lot of Will in him. He has great concentration for these types of tasks, and a pretty clear vision of what he wants and an ever growing ability to execute. <br />
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This year's goldfish costume required some explanation on front porches. "Goldfish." Liam would say firmly. "No, not Nemo." But Liam likes it and it was easy as anything to sew. In an act of good fortune he lost his first front tooth earlier today, so he had a jack-o-lantern face to go with his fish costume.<br />
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Thanks to my mother for handing out candy at the house. And thanks to Grandpa and GoGo for walking the neighborhood with us, including all the way the 8 or so blocks or so to Liam's school, where his teacher had hot cider and pumpkin pie waiting and a yard full of magic pumpkin fairy houses, all lit up.Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-25598277043357207602012-10-21T21:05:00.000-07:002012-10-21T21:42:47.540-07:00Boys' Brunch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A few weeks ago Liam and I thought up the idea of having brunch for all the boys at his new school and a few of the boys he really misses from school last year. Liam still needs pretty quick drop offs at school to make the transition easily, and I'm usually rushing to get to work in the morning anyway, like most of the other parents. Pick up is more relaxed, but I do this only about once a week. I wanted a chance to meet some of the other parents, and to spend a little time with these boys. Liam just loves the idea of a party at his house. . .any party for any reason. We invited 8 boys and 6 showed up, along with some older and younger siblings and parents. <br />
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I think brunch is the perfect party meal for little kids. It ensures that boys show up already having eaten once, but it's not too late in the day where tired may have set in, and it lets you serve food guaranteed to please. We served whole wheat waffles with butter and maple syrup, scrambled eggs, and fruit. We offered "green juice" (kale smoothie) or water to drink. I have learned that it is key to not try to do too much or have too many choices at these kinds of things. A surprising number of boys wanted green juice and pretty much all the parents did. <br />
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Thank goodness that brunch went off with out a hitch, due in large part to significant advance prep work and the fact that my mother showed up at 9:00 am with the fruit plate, hung out in the kitchen pouring coffee for the parents, and then put the waffles in the oven to reheat and scrambled the eggs right on time. It helps tremendously to have a mother who will cheerfully stop
at the store for you the morning of the brunch to buy eggs when you realize you have run almost
out, and then just as cheerfully stand in the kitchen and cook them for
six 4-5 year old boys, and their siblings and parents. Thanks mom!<br />
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While she was doing all that, I was outside encouraging the nature treasure hunt to go off, and watching bemused as there was both yelling of the "Don't follow me!" variety and crying of the "I just want to play with you!" variety. So much for boys growing in friendship and community, as advertised -- by me! -- on the invitations. Although the boys did get over it, and after they ate their weight in waffles happily ran around the yard and played "house fire" all together, including rescuing Oliver from an upstairs bedroom (by tramping through the house, I did not let them get the rope ladder out). So much for nature treasure hunts, I guess.<br />
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I had a neighbor write me after the brunch and ask how these parties come together, and it really is just those three things: keep the options simple and limited, do absolutely every possible thing in advance that you can, and make sure you have help day of because once people get there you will be dealing with them and you will not easily be able to stand in the kitchen and scramble eggs, you just won't. I've promised Liam we can do this three or four times during the school year. I think the next bunch will be in January.Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-75251604960288280972012-10-19T23:35:00.004-07:002012-10-19T23:35:52.346-07:00Happy Anniversary WillIt was a pretty normal day. Work in the AM, lunch with the vegan, Shane, you remember, work some more, then make the pizza for Pizza Friday. We celebrated my mother's birthday a few days late today. I made most of the cake last night but left the making of the 3rd kind of frosting and the assembly for today. Not sure that was wise. What kind of birthday cake has 3 kinds of frosting anyway for crying out loud? (A: German chocolate, David Libovitz's recipe, with the rum syrup on each layer, except we didn't have any rum, of course, so I used a tiny bit of vanilla. It was delicious.) Whenever I make a chocolate birthday cake I always think about how you professed to hate chocolate but would go through phases of eating kit kat bars as if they were going out of style. <br />
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The birthday crown still looks good. You were by far the best at cutting the letters for the crowns. I still don't understand how you made that look so easy. <br />
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Liam loves to choose birthday presents for his grandparents. He is on a run of selecting from those little wooden animal figures they have down at the hippy import store next to the fountain. He got her a gray cat; looks sort of like hers that died. You should see his face when they open the presents, I can't really describe the expression. Some combination of happy, proud, glowing and yet still a little bashful. It's something. <br />
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Now I'm making waffles, many, many waffles because Liam and I invited all the boys from his preschool and their families to brunch tomorrow and I decided that I didn't want to be dealing with a hot waffle iron anywhere in a house that was trying to contain 6-8 boys, and their families, in good humor and safety. In between batches of waffles I sort out the paint chips and draw little leaf shape cards for their nature treasure hunt in the yard. My gosh, Will, the chickens have destroyed the yard. They have dug the dirt and eaten the plants pretty much everywhere. And yet I just realized that between the eggs for the birthday cake and the eggs for the waffles I am going to have to call my mother in the morning and ask her to stop at the store and buy eggs to make sure we have enough to scramble for the brunch. Boys sometimes eat a lot. <br />
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I hope the boys all wear boots tomorrow. I think about what nice leaf and plant cards you would have drawn for a nature treasure hunt. Mine are just black and white, done with marker, emphasizing general shape. I'm not going to hazard any color. <br />
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I have new glasses, I wear them when I type on the computer. Except I'm not wearing them right now. Your mom's in DC with your sister, who is expecting a baby any day now. We took Liam to see the family theater production of Go Dog Go last weekend and he wants to see it again this weekend. Mushrooms are finally out, we'll be eating lots of them soon. I miss you. Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-7554791754534121022012-10-10T20:00:00.001-07:002012-10-10T20:12:25.697-07:00What a 5 year old really wants<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The vegan was working at a house this week where they were off loading cast away kid gear so when he came to dinner on Monday he brought Liam: a motocross helmet, a life jacket, some kind of walky-talky radio type thing that you wear on your arm and which Liam calls a watch, and a baseball glove. He proceeded to immediately help Liam put them all on at once. What could be better? Liam declared them his penguin handling clothes "Because the penguins, you know, the penguins you know, they peck; they really do." This was cause for great fun.<br />
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The vegan came to dinner on Monday because we called him on Sunday to ask him to please come over and check out the bee situation at our house. We think we might have a bee nest up at the very tiptop of the house, right before the roof. Of course, it's never someplace easy. Liam and I thought we saw bees going in and out on Sunday, but by dinner time on Monday no one could see any bees. Maybe they were sleeping.<br />
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Or, maybe some of Liam's bee elimination tactics worked. These he explained in great detail and with great seriousness to the vegan over the phone on Sunday and included: hammering on the side of the house (at least 40 feet away from the nest if-it-is-a-nest) with his plastic hammer to send a sound signal to the bees to tell them to leave; putting the plastic hammer in the end of a 8 foot plastic pipe so he could hammer closer to the bees; and, using the bicycle pump to "shoot air at them. . .which I <i>really thought would work</i>, but it did not work."<br />
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The vegan is very careful during these conversations and, except for a small cough-type noise at the bicycle pump idea, did. not. laugh. Instead he said something like "Oh my, well, you know I think we'll need to look at it together, we maybe need to get a little bit up closer to the bees so we can figure out what is going on." It was a very sweet conversation to witness, and it was almost just as sweet on Monday when Liam wanted to explain it all again: "Well, I know, I know I told you on the phone but I want to tell you again how I tried my best, everything I could think of, but I couldn't get rid of the bees. I tried. . .."Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-88065187286038047472012-10-08T21:02:00.000-07:002012-10-08T21:02:00.507-07:00Liam's pictures of chickensLately, every few days Liam will come bursting into whatever I'm doing to announce that he needs to use my camera <i>right away, right now</i>. (Why he can't use his own camera I'm not quite sure.) So I always say, yes, of course you can use it, just please put it back where you found it when your done.<br />
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He has been taking pictures of chickens. Somehow, they are amazing to me.Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-41991406325233981882012-10-04T20:49:00.003-07:002012-10-04T20:49:49.956-07:00A little trim and a little lie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tuesday I came home to scissors on the kitchen table and a lock of hair on the kitchen floor. I didn't notice it right away. Liam was overtired and having a fit over something when I got home, he wanted extra TV (I am so temped to just get rid of TV entirely) and he wanted a snack "Not dinner!" and who all knows what else.<br />
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When I finally got the dreaded dinner on the table and things calmed down a little, I noticed. I looked at Liam. He still looked like he had a lot of hair. I looked at the lock of hair on the floor more closely and hoped it hadn't come from the neighbor boy who had been over for a play date. It didn't look blond enough. I decided to say something, and Liam and I had the following conversation.<br />
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Me: Liam, I see some hair on the kitchen floor, do you want a shorter hair cut?<br />
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Liam: It's not hair; I mean, I didn't; I mean. Oh mommy, I just wanted to see what it was like.<br />
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Me: I'm so glad you told me the truth! So you cut your hair. What was it like?<br />
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Liam: Oh, you know, no big deal.<br />
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Me: Yeah, pretty boring. You know, Lynette is the one who cuts our hair, if you want a hair cut, we go to Lynette. Got it? No more cutting it on your own, you could hurt your ears or the skin on your head and it makes a mess. Plus, you'll never have a pony tail if you cut your hair.<br />
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Liam: Okay.<br />
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To me this is very interesting. You read about little kids and lying (<a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112292248" target="_blank">Well, I mean, if you're me and you obsessively read studies on little kid behavior</a>.) and how experimenting with lying is normal, the way questions are asked is really important, and it's important most of all for them to understand that lying doesn't work to get what they want or avoid consequences. I thought I did pretty well with my initial question; but, still the reflex was to deny, and it took a few seconds for the truth to kick in. Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-48421909558965261162012-10-01T21:53:00.000-07:002012-10-01T21:53:10.157-07:00Saying "thank you"<br />
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I've never, so far up to now, had myself sufficiently organized to start to build a habit of thank you notes with Liam. If I'm being honest, my own track record for written thank you notes, which 7-8 years ago was pretty reliable and natural, has fallen by the wayside more than I would like. Same with my ability to remember most birthdays and other memorable days with sufficient clarity or advance warning to do much about it. Another change. <br />
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A digression: both these things fell away when Will first started getting really sick. There were all these appointments and treatment so get through, and trying to understand it all so I could be a helpful and responsible advocate took so much bandwidth, really it took all I had left after work. And for pity's sake that was just me. I wasn't sick, or facing painful and unpleasant treatments, or confronted so baldly with the uncertainty of my life span and future. I shudder whenever I think about what it must have taken from Will, and remain amazed at how resilient he was.<br />
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So Liam is working on thank you notes these days. I outline the letters and he colors them in. This note is for his lovely school teacher who gifted him a piece of rose quartz. On the inside he tends to draw a picture. These days trees are popular.<br />
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On the back he writes his name and I usually write a short note. We've made 3 or 4 so far and I hope to continue.<br />
<br />Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-45157454215509478732012-09-27T21:21:00.001-07:002012-09-27T21:44:19.552-07:00RIP Reddie the Fish<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Liam's little beta fish Red, "Reddie for short, Mommy" died yesterday. We made the unfortunate discovery, unfortunately, very near bedtime, resulting in a rather late evening.<br />
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Once we were sure (by shaking the tank) that Reddie was gone we brought his tank into the kitchen and made him a burial box out of a cardboard berry pint. We put Reddie's body in the bottom with some of his rocks, and then a layer of cotton, and then his fish tank plants. Another layer of cotton. Liam chose a spot in the yard next to some Japanese anemones and we dug Reddie a small grave.<br />
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Liam and I held hands and we said a few words about Reddie. Then we covered the box and that was it. Liam sobbed and sobbed, but seems to be recovering. Reddie was, of course, Liam's "replacement pet" recommended by the counselor when we had to r<a href="http://liam411.blogspot.com/2011/11/good-bye-to-mollie-dog.html" target="_blank">e-home Mollie the dog</a>. I guess nothing stays. This transition seems to be made easier by the fact that sudden fish death is a pretty common occurrence among the 4, 5, and 6 year old set. Liam described to me two other children at his tiny school who have had fish die on them, plus the neighbor-girl, who was just here the other day looking at Reddie and explaining how her beta fish had died.<br />
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Still, it was sad. He wanted to color a picture of Reddie in his tank "So we can remember him always, Mommy" and so I drew the outlines and he colored, and we taped it up near where Reddie and his tank used to be. And today after school he painted some flat rocks to mark Reddie's little grave.<br />
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<br />Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-21173579669575041032012-09-24T22:08:00.001-07:002012-09-24T22:08:50.368-07:00A few things I want to remember<br />
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Our kitchen windowsill. From left to right: jar of sea glass; plastic platypus the vegan brought Liam from a garage sale; tomatoes; star mirror which lives there to boost something based on feng shui principles, but I can't remember what; parsley waiting to be eaten; Liam's back up plastic fish; playmobil milk cow set milk hauler; water for Liam's primary fish (a beta fish), it needs treated room temperature water; a rock; beta fish water treatment. <br />
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For some reason I've just been too tired of thinking at the end of the day to get things together in this space. But there have been a few things lately I really want to remember.<br />
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First, Liam has had no crying at school drop off, at all. He was nervous before the first day but we talked it through and he has been fine ever since. Better than fine, during the first week he asked if he could go to school 5 days instead of 4, because he didn't want to miss Fridays. So, he's a 5-day a week kid now. (Half days, but still!) <br />
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Second, the babysitter is now able to pick Liam up at school when needed. She has the extra booster seat, and he just gets in her car and they drive the 6 blocks home and here they are. Liam is totally fine with it. (This is despite the fact that as late as August he was swearing and crying that he would never, ever get in her car.)<br />
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These two things are in such contrast to last year, when he cried every day at drop off for the first month and at least once a week for pretty much the entire year, that I still sometimes can't believe it is my life. <br />
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Liam has had play dates after school at least one day each week. These are so far mostly initiated and organized by him. It is great. <br />
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And, finally, today one of the neighbor girls stopped by after dinner to say thank you for the leftover birthday cake we sent their way last week, and she and Liam got to talking about legos, and she said, well, I have a bunch of legos I never play with want to come see them? And Liam said "Yes! Right now please!" So he came and found me and said "Mommy, can I go over to (neighbor girl's) house with (neighbor girl) to see the legos?" And I said, "Sure." And then, "(Neighbor girl) please hold his hand when you cross the street; Liam, you have to cross only with (neighbor girl)." And then I went out on the porch and waived to her father across the street and watched them cross. And off he went, happy as could be, without a backwards look. Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-68227553519627364352012-09-16T20:53:00.000-07:002012-09-16T20:53:03.215-07:00Fall birthday #1<br />
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We are hurtling towards the fall birthdays around here. All four grandparents have birthdays within the next six weeks, about. Starting with GG, celebrated today. <br />
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We had a rainbow birthday (Liam's suggestion) and I wish I had thought to take some pictures because I think it looked nice. We had pretty much the entire rainbow represented on the table with <a href="http://www.remedialeating.com/2012/09/playing-favorites.html" target="_blank">green bean and fig salad</a>, <a href="http://notwithoutsalt.com/2012/09/11/her-carnival-birthday/" target="_blank">nectarine salad</a> (scroll down for the salad), tomatoes salad, purple potatoes, corn and zucchini succotash, and steaks. My mother made fully half the food, which is a big help, of course. <br />
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The birthday cake was homemade rainbow chip, and I think I liked it best of anyone. I loved making this cake; I love making almost any birthday cake, but this one really said birthday to me. The frosting is over the top sweet, but the cake has a great texture and flavor. <a href="http://notwithoutsalt.com/2011/02/28/homemade-rainbow-chip-cake/" target="_blank">From here</a>, again. Plus, when the play date activity is making rainbow chips from melted white chocolate and food coloring you get a lot of fun mom points, which is good. As soon as everyone left we took half the leftover cake to the neighbors.<br />
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Liam is all about choosing what he wants to give for birthdays and he had a very specific idea for GG. Last year he gave her a small wood cat which sits on top of a picture frame in her kitchen. This year he wanted to give <a href="http://thewoodenwagon.com/woodentoys/ostheimer-farm.html" target="_blank">a little bird </a>for the cat to look at. <br />
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Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-74307991594262470622012-09-15T21:06:00.002-07:002012-09-15T21:06:34.123-07:0065 pounds of tomatoes They are out of the boxes and into the jars and I am too tired to take any pictures of them, trust me. This is the most tomatoes I've put by in at least 10 years. And the skins and juice and random bits are in the crock pot cooking down to become. . .wait for it. . .ketchup. Liam has zero interest in tomatoes or tomato sauce, but he is crazy about the idea of making our own ketchup. Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8296118508425180225.post-35601812952718636342012-09-12T21:23:00.000-07:002012-09-12T21:23:08.790-07:00Faces of the 5-year old<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When we were in Washington DC a few weeks ago, I caught three of Liam's most common faces when he was looking at the moon rock at the air and space museum . In order I call them: (1) the tough yelling face, I think he was saying "moon rock!" in this one; (2) the sweet petting face, he also uses this one when he wants me to think he's being nice to the cat; and (3) the "Oh dear, what did she just say?" face. Missing is the one where he is sticking out his tongue and making a rude noise. Also missing, stubborn face, sleepy face, and silly face. So far five is a very expressive age.<br />
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He is doing so well at school this week. We've had virtually no crying at drop off time and today he told me that he might like to go to school on Fridays too. So proud of his effort on this! Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13523429512301405181noreply@blogger.com0