Saturday, May 29, 2010

Catch up

I'm sorry to say that I just haven't felt like doing this lately. Things at work are stressful; things at home are pretty unrelenting in a chronic-illness-sucks kind of way; it absolutely will not stop raining outside for love or money and the tomato transplants huddle on the porch and make my idea of a neighborhood tomato tasting party in July seem pretty far fetched, the garden is a disaster; I feel bad about not taking better care of the dog; Liam has yet another cold which makes me worry; it's going to cost about 3x what I thought to paint the house, that is, if we can even find a painter to do it, and the house absolutely must be painted this year; etc.; etc.. It's just a grind and often hard to find anything to notice or enjoy or look forward to most days, or the motivation to look, since, of course those things are out there every day.

So our days go by and like everyone's they are a mix of things, including stolen moments or whole afternoons of peace.

Like the day a week or so ago when Liam started to learn about car engines. He has been asking and asking about them and one Sunday dinner night I finally remembered to suggest that he and both Grandpas and Daddy might like to go out after dinner and see about the engines in the cars. Now we have to discuss where the engine on every car or truck we see. So it goes.


mekate said...

What a great photo of all the guys checking out the car engine!

So sorry things have been hard, and wishing on you days of no rain, and some starving college student who wants to paint your house.

My grandpa used to do one side a year. So it never totally looked good or bad- an interesting philosophy.

thinking of you
our rain just stopped and the sun came out and it is very very still.

with big love,

Mad Hatter said...

Oh, Elizabeth, your post makes my heart ache. I'm so sorry you're having such a trying time. I wish you lived down the street so I could have you over to sit at my dining room table and feed you tea and homemade cookies. I marvel at what an amazing job you are doing working and taking care of everyone in your life so well - even the dog, I am sure, despite your guilt that it is not enough. I wish I could be there to take care of you, even for an hour - it's so important for you to have that. Is there anything you can do to get some nurturing for you? A massage? A yoga class? A movie by yourself with lots of buttered popcorn? I hope things look better tomorrow.
Lots of love,

Illanare said...

I am so sorry for how low you are feeling. If I could, I would send you some of the (admittedly watery) sunshine from over here. As I can't, I'm just sending some good thoughts and hopes that things improve very soon.

Lisa said...

Sending lots of love and hugs your way!