Monday, January 5, 2009

I'm tired

I'm tired. Liam wouldn't sleep until almost 9:15 tonight; this after exactly the same routine that worked so well yesterday except that today for some reason when I took him upstairs at about 7:20 he just would not sleep. So, after almost 2 hours of rocking, squirming, fidgeting and some yelling and crying (not conducive to sleep at all) he is finally asleep and I'm tired. In the meantime, the chicken stock I was making boiled down to almost nothing and the poor dog was so ready to come inside after her 2 plus hours outside in the rain that she about broke down the door when she saw me coming downstairs. (She does have a dry dog house and a dry covered porch.) I intended to make macaroni and cheese tonight because we have a whole half gallon of milk that must be used today because Will hasn't been in the house to drink it, but I don't think I have that in me right now. No fear, because another gallon and a half will be delivered tomorrow that he also won't be in the house to drink because I forgot to email the milk delivery guy from work today.

This hospital stay has seemed particularly hard for some reason. Maybe it's because Will turned out to be so seriously ill. Maybe it's the holidays or that he was so sick at home for weeks before he finally went to the hospital. Maybe it's because Will sounds so down and subdued whenever anyone talks with him (that's when he answers the phone to talk at all; mostly I talk with the nurses). Or that we're all sick with the same or different crud to some degree. (My cough has moved into my chest and makes me sound like a smoker.) Everyone is stressed out from the driving back and forth to Seattle, or the feeling guilty (at least I do) when they can't be there, and just from worry both about Will's recovery, and about how he'll cope once he comes home if he doesn't recover as quickly or fully as we all hope he will, and about how we'll keep Liam's new school/daycare related germs away from him so he won't get sick again. Whine, whine, whine.

The actual clinical information as I understand it from just talking with Will's nurse (Tom, pretty much my favorite this stay) is: after a rocky start Will had a pretty good day today. Tom reports that Will ate a good dinner and that a picc line was successfully installed, so that should be a more comfortable way to deliver the IV antibiotics and it means Will can bring his antibiotics home with him when he's ready. Doug was there earlier today and Will ate breakfast and read part of the Sunday NYT. Will fell again last night, and had a consequent CT scan of his head this AM. Nothing is wrong with his head that shows up on CT apparently. Ha Ha. The falls are frightening; Will has had these falling episodes before and there is no clear explanation. Last night's fall did result in a physical therapy referral, which means that Will had to walk the halls today with PT and will have to every day he stays in the hospital, sometimes 2x a day. Poor Will. All this being sick and having a hundred people tell you what to do all the time must be so frightening and unpleasant. I know that all he wants is to be himself again. . .but it has been so hard finding and adjusting to his new limits after the cancer, rejection, spleen removal, pneumonia, cancer, pneumonia, aspergilious, etc., saga of the past few years. And now this set back. When I talked with him briefly around 5:00 tonight he sounded down but reported that he thought he felt better and that his oxygen was "better."

Aside from the not sleeping, Liam had a pretty good day today, and a great evening. He was interested in dinner and ate well, played well and even played some with Mollie in a way that Mollie could relate to, and he loves his new story/snuggle time.

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