Today/tomorrow are the days. Will tells me that based on their observations during the transplant operation, the doctors said that he was probably within weeks of death when he got the call.
The transplant anniversary makes me feel the same three or four things every year.
First, gratitude. Gratitude for a family somewhere who on hearing what must have been horrible news, some version of your father, or brother, or son* is gone, didn't entirely close up on themselves, but instead reached out. That is an amazing thing. It is a daily object lesson in humility and kindness, and one that continuously challenges me to better live those values. Grateful that Will works to maintain his health and transplant. And for his doctors, and for our families who help us so much. We're grateful for another year.
Second, wonder and sadness. Will and I weren't together when he had his transplant, so I didn't go through the recovery with him. But I know it was hard. And the course lately has been hard. And chemotherapy was awful, as was the vestibular loss, the pneumonia when he had his spleen out, and all the rest of it. Throughout it, Will finds a way to keep on.. At the same time, it is hard, and I wish it weren't so. And the future is, at best, uncertain.
Third, hope. I have so much hope for the research and new discoveries that are happening all the time. That they will help people with CF be treated successfully so they can live long and productive lives without a lung transplant. That they will come up with better ways to maintain transplants, and treat post-transplant complications and infections, or better ways to do the transplants in the first place. It would be great if Will's health could be helped by some of these things and even if it is not, it is so hopeful to think about what they might mean to others.
Finally, I always feel moved to act on this day to somehow encourage others to consider organ donation and to make your intentions known to your family. So, if you haven't already, please do. Whether you choose to donate or not is deeply personal; but if you do choose, please let someone know. Write it down. And register as a donor which, in the NW you can do here.
That's all. Will and Liam are upstairs having story time, and it's my time to go up and do the rocking to sleep now and then come downstairs and enjoy a cup of tea with Will. I'll post more tomorrow with and update on Will's current health complications; he's having a very good day today for which we are incredibly grateful.
*Somehow we know Will's donor was male.