Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Uncertainty and gratitude

The Confessions of a CF Husband family has received the bad news that their PTLD is not responding to rituximab and will require traditional chemotherapy. I know from watching Will's experience with chemotherapy that this is likely to be a very difficult time for them. Traditional chemo is hard for anyone, I think, and particularly crummy if you health is already fragile and your immune system suppressed. I think they'd appreciate your thoughts and prayers in the days to come.

It reiterates for me how quickly one can go from feeling like things are on an even keel to complete chaos. We all know intellectually that any one of us could face the end at any moment, but if you're a person with health conditions that can turn very serious very quickly you experience the reality that your life is temporary most every day. You don't make assumptions about the future like most people do. We don't particularly focus on this in our family, but we don't ignore it either -- it's something to be respectful of. We know that even without any more cancer ever, Will's lung transplant won't last forever. Sometimes it makes us really, really sad to know this, and sometimes we can deal with it in a more matter-of-fact way, and occasionally, especially when Will is feeling well, we don't think about it for a few days or weeks at at time. We hope Will's transplant lasts a long, long time, and it may; it also challenges us to be mindfully grateful every day.

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