How to see bats, sort of

To see bats, you have to live in a place where bats also live. Luckily, bats live in most places. We have a big colony of bats around here. Then you have to get the notion to go look at the bats. This happens when Mommy reads in the newspaper that the local bat researcher gives talks about the bats once a month down by the lake and carries around a little machine that slows down bat speech so it can be heard by humans. Get really excited about the idea. Get even more excited when Mommy says that GoGo (grandpa DH) will meet us there to see the bats too.

Stay up to way past your bed-time before you even leave to see the bats. Finally, about 8:45 pm go down to the lake. Park the car. Wait for the bats to come out.

Talk with a lot of people while you wait. Tell all of them that your are going to see bats. (They know this already because they also are waiting for the bats to come out, but most people play along really nicely.) Have I mentioned that our little town is also the state capital? It is.

Keep waiting. The bats are kind of late tonight.

More waiting. It's not clear the bats read the newspaper article about the bat talk. They may not be coming.


Check out the bat habitat while you wait. Bats eat bugs. Bugs fly around over the lake. Our bats fly 16 miles round trip from where they (mostly) live to the lake every night to feed.

Get really tired. Look at Mommy like she is crazy when she tries to show you a bat flying around. Smile and agree when Mommy says they are really small and really fast. Pretend you see the bat so you can all go home.

In the car on the way home admit that you really didn't see a bat. But Mommy did! Which is very good! And you can look at videos of bats on the computer. Decide to try again in September when dark comes earlier.

PS -- Liam has been being a bat ever since this (sort of lame) outing on Saturday night. He runs around the house "going really fast" and has learned to swim his arms in the air just like bats fly. He demands to be addressed as "bat" as in "that's really fast, bat!"

How to be the kitty and have a fit if you're (almost) 2 years old

First pretend to be the kitty. Crawl on your hands and knees and make a pretty awful cat meowing noise (so that the neighbors say: are you okay over there?). Come to mommy and have your ears scratched and patted.

Then, decide to be Liam again and ask to go see the real kitty. This is a lovely cat named (confusingly) Bunny who lives around the corner but sometimes comes to visit at our house and always rushes out to be patted by Liam whenever we walk by, which is about 4-5 evenings a week. But not tonight, because it was already 7:15 and we had played (a lot) at the park after dinner and it was almost time for bed, not time for a walk.

Explain to Mommy that it is really, really important to go see the kitty right now. Say please (a lot). [Liam makes the “please” sign by patting his hand on his chest. You can see the actual ASL please sign here, which is also the place I go to learn new signs for Liam.]

Have a fit when Mommy says: honey, we’ll go see the kitty tomorrow; now is time to either play in the yard or go inside for bath. Make it a really big fit, befitting deep disappointment at 7:15 PM.

Ask one more time to go see the kitty. Omit the please.

Calm down when Mommy suggests that instead we go into the garden and eat pea pods. Eat a lot of pea pods and all the strawberries. That’s it!

How to play loud voice/quiet voice with Daddy

First get the notion to play. It's a little boring here at the table after dinner. Use your loud voice over and over until Mommy says "Liam, that's a loud voice! Let's try quiet voice now please."

Use your quiet voice -- this involves just moving the mouth and sort of blowing air out of it; almost no actual noise. When Mommy doesn't notice right away (it's easy to miss) use your LOUD voice again and laugh hysterically when Mommy says "Loud voice!"

Become beside yourself happy when Daddy decides to play too.

Look with wonder at Daddy's quiet voice.

Laugh hysterically when Daddy says "loud voice!"

Important game playing note: only Mommy and Daddy say the words "loud voice" and "quiet voice" and quiet voice is used most often because "loud voice" spoken loudly can be a little scary sometimes. Liam uses "de de!" (which also is what the birds say) for loud voice/quiet voice.

How to eat macaroni and cheese with your spoon when you are 21 months old

First, you have to get the macaroni and cheese made. This requires Mommy. Get the empty taped up box of macaroni and cheese from your play kitchen and carry it around whining and signing please until Mommy stops what she is doing and puts water on to boil. No photo of this, but you can see the box on the table in the later photos.

Wait patiently for the macaroni and cheese to cook (while eating carrots and pea pods). When it finally arrives, shovel the macaroni and cheese into your mouth with both hands.

Look at Mommy like she has grown two heads when she says "Liam, macaroni and cheese is a spoon food, please." But, try to humor Mommy. Place the macaroni and cheese very carefully one macaroni at a time on the spoon and put it in your mouth.

Whenever Mommy isn't paying attention go back to using your hands.

Try to figure out how your hands got so sticky.


And you are spared photos of the drumming on the table with the spoon while singing at the top of your voice and of holding the sippy cup in your teeth and pretending to be the dog. (Who has never, as far as I know, put one of the sippy cups in her mouth.)

Happy birthday to cousin K. I bet your table manners beat Liam's!

(All done sign.)

How to Eat Dinner if You're 16 Months Old

First, talk Mommy into bringing Bobble Head down to dinner with you so you can make sure that Bobble Head gets enough to eat. (Liam got this the night we went to the Mariner's game for my work, and occasionally becomes obsessed with it. It's not a toy -- it probably weighs 2 pounds and has numerous sharp edges and corners. Still. . .I bring it down to have dinner with him because the lack of sleep has finally caused me to lose my mind entirely.)


Next, ask Daddy for a cookie. What? No cookie? Come on, it's for Bobble Head.


See if you can finally get Mommy and Daddy to agree that the food should go in your nose. What? It really doesn't go in your nose? What about your hair?

Make sure Bobble Head gets enough to drink.

Look with suspicion at the green pea pod Daddy is trying to get you to eat. Really? Pea pod?

Explain to Daddy that the pea pod would go over better if it came with some "stars" (puffed corn or something like that crackers; Liam loves them).

Finally, take a bite of dinner. Okay. Now, do it all over again for the second bite. You would think this would tire him out and make bedtime easier. . ..

Important things to have on hand when you're 14 months old and getting two molars at once...

1. Frozen fruit and ice cubes in a mesh bag for a teething Popsicle.

2. A phone that plays music and a Daddy willing to take you for walks so Mommy can finally have a cup of coffee in peace.
3. Children's' Tylenol, infant drops.

Liam is getting his butt kicked by his teeth these past few days. Last night and Saturday night he was up from about 2:30 to 5:00 (AM!) restless and crying. Finally this morning at around 5:30 I gave him Tylenol infant drops (about 2/3 of a dose) and he was able to go back to sleep. Me, not so much. Today he has been resistant to naps and alternating between fussy and over-tired wacky. Finally napping now; we pray for a solid 2 hours or so of sleep, he needs it.

The phone and Tylenol are unremarkable. The Daddy is wonderful as has been remarked on extensively. The mesh bag is worth a special mention. This is (yet another) example of a baby item that someone gave us that I thought was ridiculous and now love. You can put whatever food you want in it and the baby can suck and eat away with no danger of choking. We use ours almost exclusively for frozen fruit and ice cubes -- it has been a Godsend for the days when Liam's teeth are really bugging him. Ours is like this, except brighter colors. Ours is an older model, but now they're easy to find, made by all the usual suspects in the making-stuff-for-babies corporate world. They're cheap and a great baby gift; I give them to everyone.

How to Have a Nice Saturday if You're 14 Months Old - PM

First, do a little reading. "Dog" and "Potty," very interesting. Dr. Seuss, even better.

Tell Mommy all about what you were reading. All about it. All of it. Whatever you do, do not let Mommy eat her dinner or try to find rowing coverage on the Olympics.

Tire of Mommy and push the pusher all over the house.

Tire of the pusher and talk with Daddy about reading some of the grown-up books. (Note, both feet off the floor.) Start with the Materials Handbook.

Finally, get really tired and explain in no uncertain terms that it is too hot, too late, time for bath and time for bed. The end. I hope you all experience some joy this weekend.

How to Have a Nice Saturday if You're 14 Months Old - AM

First, get up really early and talk Mommy into taking you outside so you can unpack Mollie's box of stuff, climb up and down the front steps, and throw things for Mollie.

Second, come inside, get dressed (for the first time), eat breakfast, and dance around with Daddy until you are both tired.

Third, get dressed for the second time after an unfortunate incident with snack. Refuse to nap, but lie around in the hall and look at the ceiling. That's the morning.

Blueberry Pancakes

This is how our morning went today. I wish for each of you a million mornings just like this one was for us.

Mommy, can we have blueberry pancakes for breakfast?

Yes, Liam

Daddy! We're having blueberry pancakes for breakfast!

Wait. . . do I like blueberry pancakes?

I think I do like blueberry pancakes! (Just like his Daddy.)

I really, really like them!